Lately, I find myself in a complex situation. It’s where I thought I already found my future happiness, and yet a voice inside tells me it’s not yet the prize I should work hard for. Confusing? Yes, it’s very confusing. So many weeks, so many days (and counting) that uncertainties come to plague me; to make things more complicated. I am thrown into a room where exits are nowhere to be found. No escapes.
I guess, I’m at a point where I’m trying to redeem my lost senses. My wayward thoughts are becoming so prevalent. You’re so hard to forget when every time I go to sleep and every time I would wake up, you’re the very first object that first enters my mind. My fears of getting burned by you, by this crazy little thing called ‘love’ have taken the best out of me. I’m really scared. I’m afraid that I might fall for you without even having the chance to know you. It’s a classic heartbreak I don’t ever want myself to get involved into.
I want to resist of seeing you every time you enter the room. No matter how I badly want to see your face; no matter how happy my heart gets every time your presence is felt, this would not matter because I know you can never be mine. Call me coward, but it’s the only way I know on how to prevent this insane feeling from growing. Deprivation is the solution I found effective.
Even though I want to take chances, it’s good that as early as now, I’d get to control my emotion. Well, most of you may not understand. I’m hoping before I face the real thing, I have already made up my mind.